I want you to be my Watcher again"
by Lil Miss Giggles
Summary: Major character death. Rated PG-13 for swearing ... sorry, I can't think of a decent summary for this fic. You'll just have to read it.


  
"I want you to be my Watcher again."  
  
Rating - PG-13  
Distribution - ask first, por favor  
Ownership - Joss is God.  
Feedback - PLEASE!PLEASE!PLEASE!PLEASE!  
Summary - Major character death.  
A/N - / / indicates the voices of the nurses, doctors and his vistors.  
  
Words and memories swam through the emotional tangles of Giles' mind. He shut his eyes to the glare of the hospital lights. In the background he could here the nurses fuss over him. Couldn't they all just leave? Leave him here, alone with his memories and the pains strung throughout his body. The pain ... what did it matter anymore? There was nothing left to care about, apart from Miss Kitty Fantastico - Willow and Tara's pet cat. He would have to find a decent home for the poor bugger when he got out. If he got out.  
/Mr. Giles?/ Even if he did get out, what would he have to look forward to? There was noone left - the Council wouldn't have him back. He had no family. /Giles? ... It's me. Giles?/ All dead. It was his fault, he hadn't warned her. He should have prepared her for it, she didn't know... / He appears to be conscious but his thoughts are not with us./ Without them he was nothing. They were the children he should have had - even Spike. The vampire may have been a complete bastard sometimes but he cared. /He may not come round ... Miss Summers? Don't get your hopes up, his injuries are--/ The pain ... at least they died without this kind of pain / They're fatal. I know. Thankyou, Doctor./ He felt a familiar hand hold his. Buffy's. No, he was imagining it. She was dead, he saw the explosion ..and felt it /Giles, its Buffy. Please, wake up./ There was a thud, he felt the bed vibrate as the door slammed shut. His head ... it hurt so much. He wanted to open his eyes again - confirm that it wasn't Buffy holding his hand. He never got to tell her. So many things he wanted them all to know. Not enough time. /Hey, G-man. Willow's bursting blood vessels over you. You'd better wake up soon 'cause ... we ... we need you, Giles./ Xander. Was that him? Stop it, Giles, he's dead. They all are. Xander. He wasn't as annoying as he thought he was - always the one to bring an edge of light humour to the worst of situations. / What're we gonna do the next time the world threatens to end? Who's gonna have get all the books out and look like they know the answer?/ So many voices and so many memories to go with them. He remembered the first time he met her. She'd walked into the library - his library - for a book and fled from him when he brought out his thick leather bound volume titled "Vampyr". She was only in her mid-teens. /Come on Ripper. They need you and I hate to admit but I don't want you to pop your clogs yet. Stop being a dozy bugger and wake up. For their sake, Giles. They need you./ This was getting ridiculous, he was even hearing Spike now. The peroxide blonde bugger who helped him find that bastard Ethan Rayne when he turned him into a demon. At least one good thing came of that, he got to scare Maggie Walsh. Absent father-figure she'd said. He had never been an absent father-figure, he had always been their when she needed him ... except ... /.... Giles.... it's Buffy. I hope you can hear me. I just wanted to say ...... you were always like a father to me. Sometimes I wish you were my dad for real. I'm so sorry I couldn't be here ... / He had been such a bad Watcher ... they never seemed to care though ... they were a family ... maybe not a blood family but ... blood ... on his hands ... his face ... pain ... his head felt so .........numb. The pain .... gone .... no more voices ...... his memories - where were they? ........ lost, all lost ......  
  
The original members of the Scooby Gang, along with few new recruits stood beside the bed. Faces blank and streaked with tears that had dried hours ago. They looked on, they bodies numb as the heart monitor displayed a single straight green line running across the screen. The harsh shriek of the alarm filled their ears, yet they remained untouched. Then they clicked. Willow burst into tears and sobbed into Tara's shoulder. Xander turned away to hide the tears that fell relentlessly as Anya tried to console him. Spike rubbed his eyes and kept hid eyes glued to the heart monitor.  
Buffy stared at the body on the hospital bed. Turning towards the door, she slowly walked towards it then stopped in the doorway, facing into the corridor. Spike looked up at her and watched with concern as her brow furrowed into a small frown of incomprehension. He stepped towards her as she looked at the floor, her eyes screwing shut as tears drew all too familiar lines down her pale cheeks. Her knees shook and he took her by the elbow as they gave way, her arm reaching out to use the vampire's shoulder as support.  
  
  
~*~  
In memory of  
Rupert Giles  
Beloved friend  
and  
mentor  
~*~  
  
  
Buffy couldn't bring herself to move any closer to her Watcher's grave. She could just about read the writing on the headstone. Turning away, she walked slowly back to the cemetery gates, stopped and looked back. She smiled slightly as she took out a single white rose and gently kissed the unopened bud.   
"I'll miss you, Giles ... Dad."  
Threading the stem through the gate, she looked up at the reddening sky put her hands in her pockets and slowly made her way home. 


End file.
